I went to a seminar on forgiveness the other day.  Just what is forgiveness?  Why is it important?  Spend a few minutes pondering what forgiveness means to you and why it's important.

   Now let's read Matthew 18:21-35.

   Notice verse 21 where Peter asks if we should forgive seven times.  At that time, the Pharisee law said to forgive someone three times, so Peter is actually being very generous here!  However, Jesus replies that we need to forgive someone seventy-seven times or seventy times seven (depending on the translation).  Either way, at that time, the number seven basically meant an infinite amount, so we are supposed to keep on forgiving.  Also notice verses 24 and 28.  In verse 24, ten thousand talents were mentioned, which is equivalent to hundreds of millions of dollars, or perhaps even a trillion dollars today.  In verse 28, the denarii really isn't all that much.  So for the master to forgive a debt of nearly a trillion dollars is quite merciful, but for the servant to get mad over a few denarii is quite selfish.  Now take a look at verses 34 and 35.  This is not what we want to hear.  God cannot forgive us unless we forgive others.  And this makes sense!  When you don't forgive, that's a sin, so how is God supposed to forgive us when we don't even admit to our sin?

   Before we talk about what forgiveness is, let's go on to what forgiveness is not.  Forgiveness is not the same thing as excusing.  You can excuse someone for doing something to you, but that doesn't mean you've forgiven them for doing it.  Forgiveness is not forgetting.  People think that when we forget something, that means we've ultimately forgiven the person for what they've done.  This isn't true.  When you're reminded of the act against you, what kind of feelings come up?  Forgiveness is not the same as reconciling.  We can 'be right' with someone who's hurt us, but that doesn't mean we've forgiven what they've done.

   So what is forgiveness?  Some of the people at the seminar threw out some ideas.  According to them, it's 'giving up the right for retaliation,' 'giving up resentment,' 'pardoning,' and 'giving up the right to hurt someone back.'  They were definitely on the right track.  Forgiveness is giving up the quest to get even; however, this doesn't mean that justice doesn't take place.  When we forgive someone, we change the way we think and how we feel about the person.  We once again begin to wish the other person well.  Also, forgiveness almost always starts as a one-sided thing.

   Think about Jesus washing the disciples' feet.  That is an awesome example of forgiveness.  He knew what they had done and what they would do.  Jesus knew Peter would deny him three times, yet Jesus took the lowest job of the household and washed the disciples' feet.  What about when he was on the cross?  Jesus forgave the very people who tortured him and sent him to his death.

   Instead of seeking revenge next time someone does something to hurt you, forgive them.  Revenge does not bring closure.  Forgiveness does.  Think of three people who have hurt you.  Start praying for them.  Wish them well!  It doesn't matter if they've apologized to you or not, you can still forgive them and give up on trying to get even.  After all, the person who needs your forgiveness does not deserve it, but neither do you.